Failure
by corgi101
Summary: I'm sorry, I failed you. I promised I wouldn't do this. But I did, and now I'm addicted, I can't feel anything,all I can think about is those...things. One more I take in. One more inch to death. I can't believe this is happening, I can't believe I broke a promise, but I did, and now, my life turned to hell. I'm so sorry. (Contains drug usage)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_**(Ty's POV)**_

It all started out so innocent. Just a mere celebration. But that gave birth to a demon, a demon that would live in the heart of such a young soul.

It was Saturday night, the time you would expect most teens to be up to trouble. I was one of them. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted to have fun, and I wanted to just, loose it. I mean I'm only 18; I had enough smarts to know the basic right and wrong...right? Wrong.

I was at one of those clubs, with other people I didn't know, I never intended to end up there, but my friend had suggested it to me just for time to, 'Enjoy your big milestone'.

So here I was, alone, just hanging around while other people danced and drank. I was looking down at my phone when a scent of perfume lingered causing me to look up.

I saw a girl, looking to be 16, wearing a very skimpy outfit and holding something. She looked like a hooker. Uncomfortable I scooted away a bit.

"Hey little boy, need help looking for something? I bet I can help you find it," she purred in a devilish tone. I slowly leaned away.

"Eh...no...I'm just fine sitting here..." I replied, feeling my face gush with blood. This made her smile even more.

"Wanna try a little something? It can make you relaxed," she said in a teasing tone, revealing an orange bottle with pills in it.

"What?! No! I would never do any of that!" I objected, staring at the bottle into total shock. It felt like it was smirking at me, teasing me.

"Why? Are you scared? Are you a little good boy?" The girl asked.

"N-no!" I replied, staring at the bottle in pure fear.

"Come on, just one won't hurt you, it'll make you feel better about yourself," the girl said, finding my weak spot.

"I-I..." I stuttered. I was shaking now, highly stressed out over the situation.

_Just one won't hurt me...I can just let go for one night...no! No! I won't do it...I won't do it..._

_**Come on Tyler, DO IT,**_

I was surprised at the little voice in the back of my head, it sounded demonic. My legs were about to shatter as the girl kept teasing, saying they'd be great for me, and I wasn't man enough to do it. I guess this is what peer pressure feels like.

I stared at the bottle and at the tiny white particles inside. The words repeated in my mind. _'Do it'._ Slowly and shakily I held out my hand. Just one couldn't hurt.

The girl smiled and unscrewed the bottle. She took my hand and gently slid two pills onto it. She kissed my forehead and walked off to another guy.

I looked down at the pills in my hand.

_**Do it...there's no pain...do it...**_

The voice was so convincing. I stared at the pills and rolled them around. Just two...they're not gonna hurt me.

I did the most regretful thing in the world. I crushed them in my hand and slid them into my mouth. I swallowed and looked around. I didn't feel any different. I went back onto my phone and continued with my texting.

A little later I found myself giggling at things that weren't even funny, and just in general laughing. I felt overly happy and felt so good. I never felt this way before. Everything was just so, numb. I looked around and went back into laughing.

"I just took some drugs, and my god I feel good, they were wrong about them, there's nothing wrong with them," I laughed under my breath. I forgot about what was smart, and went up to the girl, asking for more. She gave me a whole bottle, saying something along the lines of 'don't have to much fun'.

So I sat in that chair, sliding one more into me. I felt even happier. I lost my sanity, and did something else I regret a lot too. I began drinking. Not even just one. I finished at least 2 bottles. I just kept loosing myself, doing the most disgraceful things. But one thing I kept with me that whole night was those pills. Those damned pills.

I just kept slipping them in when I wanted the feeling to be stronger. More then once I threw them up, and I simply laughed it off. But I still felt so nauseas, so sick. Yet I ignored what my body was trying to tell me, to stop taking the pills. I did the opposite and took more in, so close to overdosing.

Soon I began to feel tired, and called it. It was 1AM and I was exhausted. I didn't plan on staying that long. The pills still had an effect on me and I laughed my way home (I was glad I had walked) and stumbled inside. I fell asleep with my clothes on, feeling way to drained to care. But before sleep overtook me I took in one more, before placing the bottle on my nightstand and falling asleep.

**A/N This is a story in tribute of the old Three Days Grace singer Adam Gontier. Drugs are bad don't do them. Hope you guys like it so far and see you in the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**(Ty's POV)**_

I awoke that morning, feeling hung-over. I was aware of feeling a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. My eyes widening I rushed to my bathroom to vomit. I looked up and around. I got my bearings and stood up. I walked back over to my bed and saw the bottle on my nightstand. Grabbing it I studied it. I had no labels on it, just a plan orange bottle with small little pills inside of it.

_D-did I...take these?_ I asked myself. My heart stopped as I remembered the girl, me swallowing them, and the feeling I got. I gripped my head and moaned as the migraine worsened. The pain was so intense.

I slowly unscrewed the bottle cap and slid one into my hand. I was hesitant at first, and I knew what I was doing was wrong, but the feeling felt so good. I crushed it in my hand and threw back my head, sprinkling the crushed bits into my mouth.

I screwed the cap on and hid them in my nightstand drawer. No one needed to know about this. I was simply just making myself feel good. I mean that's what they want right? For me to feel good.

So my day went on as usual. When I recorded with Adam I was able to take another one. I felt guilty when I told him it was just a tic-tac. But he liked it when I was all woozy and silly and laughing uncontrollably. I just couldn't believe I was actually taking it.

I told myself I would get rid of the bottle. Hell I didn't even know what type of drug it was. I think cocaine, or something else, but I don't remember cocaine coming in pill form.

As the sun set that day I felt crashed. I was depressed and tired. That little voice kept nagging me in the back of my head.

Why don't you just take one more?

I ignored it, not since I didn't want to take them, but I had ran out. So here I was, siting up against a wall, depressed.

For at least forty minute just sat there, depressed. At few tears streaked down my face as I stood up and walked outside. I strolled down a street, my head hung low as my depression was still there. The little voice was getting louder in my ears.

Where is it? Get more...take away the pain...

Once again I ignored it. Whatever I took, it was fast acting. That's when I saw the girl from the club. She was in one of those girly-girl outfits and had body glitter. Against better judgement I walked up to her. She looked over at me and blinked like she remembered.

"Ah yes, little boy who just tried his first dose," she teased. I looked at her and she smirked.

"Hooked already? Addicted?" She asked, taking my chin and making it look her in the eye.

"What the hell was that stuff?" I asked. Her smirk got wider.

"I don't need to tell you. All you need to know is where to get it. I got it from a girl named Ariegal. Now she'll be suspicious of you, but say her name is Robin and that Rose sent you," the girl said. I nodded.

"Where is she located?" I asked. The girl did a hair flip.

"Behind the high-school," she said. 'Rose' took out her phone and went off. I began to walk again, towards the high school. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I was so disappointed in myself. This can't be happening. It was a dream. I'll awake soon, seeing it was just a nightmare. A sick twisted nightmare.

I reached the high school near me and went around back. I saw other teens there, smoking, some drinking, others inhaling. All of them just doing illegal things. I was slowly becoming one of them. I saw Ariegal, or Robin. She had a cheap plastic table with a wide spread of stuff over it. Drugs, cigarettes, beers. I have no idea where she even got that stuff.

Ariegal was wearing body glitter like 'Rose', but she also had black lipstick, eyeliner, and a beauty mark. She had a shirt that stopped just above her waist and shorts that stopped about 2 and half inches down from her hips.

She looked up at me, her long black hair blazing across her face. I guess she saw my depressed look because at once she took out a box.

"First dose?" She asked. I nodded.

"Ok, what's my name and who sent you?" She asked,, and I saw her reach for her waist band, revealing a gun.

"You're name is Robin, and Rose sent me," I answered. Ariegal smiled.

"Addiction isn't bad, don't worry, you're just helping yourself, now, I know what you need, just let me help you," Ariegal said. She took a pocketknife out and sliced the box open, revealing bottled upon bottles of drugs. Some I didn't recognize.

The girl took out an orange bottle with the same pills.

"This is the newest shit I got. New creation that we were testing out. Got it off of some guy in Florida, now since you're a new guy I'll cut you a deal. I'll give you a monthly supply for, eh," Rose looked me up and down.

"80 bucks," She decided. My eyes widened.

"80? 80 dollars for drugs?" I asked. The girl rolled her eyes.

"I know a guy named Fonix and he gets stuff monthly for 180 a month. This stuff ain't cheap my friend," the girl said. I sighed and took out my wallet, paying up front. Ariegal smiled and handed me a box.

"Use 'em well," she said.

Later I was able to smuggle them back to my house, and against better judgment, I took one. The feeling was amazing as it made my mood brighten. My cat Jake came up to me and sniffed them. He hissed, but it wasn't at me, it was at the bottle.

I grabbed the box and began to hide the bottles inside. They were scattered around, in locations people wouldn't expect. I wasn't in my mind at the time, my smarts were off somewhere, I don't know what happened. My addiction was getting stronger, and so was the demon.

Weeks passed by and no one suspected a thing. None of my friends realized their friend was taking and addicted to drugs. Soon I didn't care anymore. I guess I figured I was addicted, and know one knew or cared to ask, so why the fuck not jolt up how much I took.

Soon I was taking 20-milligram pills. I was destroying myself. I got overwhelmed with feelings. Some aggressive, some depressed, and some happy. I couldn't sleep at night, I kept lying about them being tic-tacs or checking my phone. My addiction was getting bad. Real bad. And I think I showed how bad it was to my friends one day.

It all started as usual, the recording. I took one like I normally did before I started.

"What chya' got there Ty?" Simon asked.

"Tic-tac," I replied.

"You love those little mints don't you?" Vikk asked.

"Definitely," I muttered, putting the bottle away. Bodil wasn't with us today, he was building another map that he had put a deadline on, and so he didn't have time.

Simon and Vikk went on with the intro while I remained silent. I glanced up at the face-cam and back down at my screen. Vikk and Simon had started. I quickly jumped into action and soon enough was in the lead.

Suddenly I saw triples. My vision blurred. I let go of my keyboard and mouse and collapsed into hands. I didn't feel good at all.

"You alright Ty?" Simon asked.

"Headache," I said. It was more then a headache though. It was nausea, headache, and stomach pain.

"You wanna cut?" Vikk asked. I nodded, trying to regain myself. Damn it, why now drugs?

"Holy shit you're pale," Simon said.

"Probably just from the light," I replied.

"No dude, like your white, do you need to see a doctor?" Vikk asked. I shook my head vigorously.

"I can keep going," I muttered.

"You sure?" Vikk asked.

"We can call it if you want," Simon added.

"No, let's just continue," I said. That was a wrong choice. As we continued my mood took a turn. Soon I was yelling, screaming at the most. Vikk and Simon were terrified. I was swearing under my breath, my head was pounding.

When the map ended, I wanted it to be over for good. So I called myself out early and stopped recording. Editing was more painful then ever. So many cuts.

When comments started to appear, they all had the same summary.

_Deadlox are you ok?_

_You seem ill,_

_You're not the same_

I shook it off. I didn't care. I was fucked up and they didn't know. I took another pill, and calmed myself.

I went on a walk again. I thought over how this had happened.

That goddamn club, and my self and how I had shattered under the feeling of weight of others forcing me to do something. I was to blame. I didn't have to start. But I took a wrong turn, and now I'm plummeting towards hell.

I couldn't keep up with myself. That's when I felt it. Something was tickling my hair and as I reached for it, I felt a flapping motion in my hand. I felt the tickling feeling on my hand and I looked at what it was.

A butterfly stood on my hand, flapping slowly. I tilted my head. Since when did butterflies do this? It climbed to the edge of my finger and took off into the wind. I tried to process what had just happened. Suddenly I stumbled and felt like I was falling. I saw blackness as I fell downwards. Nothing but black. When I came back to the light I began laughing like I was insane.

I lost myself again. Much like at the club, I did things I regret. Not like, inappropriate things but more like, I don't know. I guess I was angry.

Anyways the last thing I remember was a guy walked up to me and handcuffing me.

It was all a blur. Luckily they showed mercy, and made me pay a fine. At least I wasn't arrested.

Oh but lucky me, Jocelyn was coming to pick me up from the courthouse. So I was embarrassed by the fact I was almost arrested.

"Come on, I'm taking you home," she said, not making eye contact.

**A/N I GOT A LEAD IN A PLAY!**

**I DID SOMETHING FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE,**

**ARE YOU PROUD OF ME MOM?**


End file.
